Congratulations to my college roommate Abby and her husband Shane on the birth of their daughter Bella. I can't wait to meet her!












They decided to do the baby room in a Beatrix Potter theme. I made this little blanket as a gift. She called me last week to let me know Bella was to be born on Thursday, so I hurriedly finished the blanket (which I'd been working on since January) and mailed it! Although you can't see it in this picture, all the fabric is from a Beatrix Potter story, whether bunnies or radishes or other characters. Unfortunately the fabric was a special order from Canada back in January when they were planning to be "surprised" by the gender...and by the time she found out it was a girl it was too late to return the fabric. So yellow and green it is! :) Oh well, I think it's still cute.

Then this is the back. It's just one solid piece of fabric with a scene from Peter Rabbit.

Simple joys...

Ode to Fast Food

Southeast Michigan has a different selection of fast food restaurants than north Texas. For example, Adam and I really miss Chick-Fil-A, Whataburger, Sonic, Schlotzsky's, and Taco Bueno, just to name a few. Now, we're not really big fast food-eaters to begin with, but every now and then it just tastes so good.

Particularly, this post is about Sonic. To me, there's just not much better than a Route 44 cherry limeade on a summer day. Anyway, for the last ten months or so, there has been a half-built Sonic down the street. My friend Angela (also from Texas) and I drive by it every now and then to check on its progress and then excitedly update the other. It was finally finished and in the hiring process. Finally, last week- exciting news- Sonic was opening at 6am on Monday!!! With my mouth watering for a Route 44, I drove to Sonic on Monday...only to find the line for an open stall to be AN HOUR LONG! I returned on Thursday and then again today (Friday), only to find the same wait! Incredible. They have the parking lot next door rented out so that the line of cars can wait for an open stall. During the wait, car-hops pass out instructions on how to order at a Sonic since this is the first one in the area! So funny! Needless to say, I have chosen not to wait for an hour for my drink...maybe next week.

I can't believe I just wrote an entire paragraph about a fast food restaurant...clearly it was a slow week. :)

Cheers!

**Caution: Long, rambling post. And before you ask, no, I'm not pregnant.** :)

Random thoughts on motherhood...

Thinking back on it, I can’t remember ever desiring to be a mother. When asked about my future goals, I always reported some sort of educational or professional attainment, like anesthesiologist, cardiothoracic surgeon, biology teacher, or epidemiologist. Personally I have never found this to be strange, but I was recently asked by a dear friend what my “family plan” was because she had never heard me mention children after 15 years of friendship. So I started to wonder…why haven’t I ever mentioned children?

Perhaps it’s because I didn’t grow up around a lot of kids. I don’t come from a large family with lots of “little ones” roaming around at family gatherings. But actually, that’s the way I’ve always liked it. I like talking with my grandparents or cousins, who are my age and can carry on real conversations.

Perhaps it’s because I didn’t babysit when I was growing up. But was it because I was never asked, or because I didn’t seek opportunities? In fact, to this day my only babysitting experience was on two occasions in college for the two children of the camp director for whom I worked during the summer.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t like children. Well, most children. There are some that I have connected with over the years, but they’re few and far between…the ones that come to mind are the two aforementioned children-of-my-camp-director, flower-girl-at-my-wedding Zoe, and friends-from-Texas Whitley and Montgomery. But if you know me, you know that I can’t stand sitting within 500 feet of a child at a movie theater (yes, I know that distance means we wouldn’t even be in the same theater) and I wish parents would control outbursts at the grocery store, restaurants, and all other public places for that matter. I know this sounds harsh…and I know every kid has a bad day that can’t be helped…but why do I want to pay for a nice date out with my husband, only to be disturbed by children running around my dinner table or screaming at a movie that was not made for children in the first place? And really now that I think about it my feelings are different than dislike. Children make me anxious. They cry when I hold them and I don’t know why…perhaps they don’t like me either.

Perhaps it's because I wanted to be different. One of my dear college roommates came to Baylor to look for a husband with whom to start a family. She openly admitted it. An "MRS degree" if you will. I always thought that was just plain stupid. Why would you spend so much money on an education, just to waste it all by not using it? I did not want to be like that.

I think I know the real answer, though. Deep down I have always viewed marriage and motherhood as weakness. Growing up as an only child of a single mother with most other marriages I witnessed ending in divorce, I did not want to be married or have children because that meant being vulnerable and weak…and I wanted to be strong. So logically that meant never getting married or having children, right?

A brief digression…do you know how Adam and I met? Bioethics class at Baylor. Before we started dating, we attended the same class study group regarding a text we were reading. It discussed the various roles of the physician…as a mechanic, a teacher, and a father. Father. This word bothered me…after all, women can be physicians too. I made a very convincing argument for the more appropriate term. Parent. The physician as a parent to the patient, which would encompass both men and women in the profession. And after we started dating, Adam recalled this story and henceforth referred to me as his “little bra burner.” He meant it as an endearment. Maybe I am a bit of a feminist…but to me, that means being strong. Not being subject to weakness.

But I will return to the spark of this whole rambling post. The conversation with a friend. As she discussed her desire to nurture in great detail, I became panicked. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt such a deep desire to nurture. Is there something wrong with me? I do want children, despite my lack of feelings or experience for/with children, particularly since I’ve been married now for 4 years. But what if I'm not meant to be a mother because I can't nurture?

But I got to thinking...

Maybe my desire to nurture isn't manifest in a desire to hold babies belonging to someone else or babysit or listen with patience to public outbursts...maybe it's manifest in my love for those already in my family.


Because when I look at this picture that I've posted before, I see a mother for Jake. It's silly, but when my friend and I got off the phone I looked at who was curled up next to me and my heart filled with so much love. I am his mommy, and it's a role that I love. He has turned out so well that maybe my "mothering" skills have been there all along and I just didn't know it.

And if and when it ever happens, maybe motherhood will be for me a sign of not weakness, but instead one of strength.

Additional pics from Colorado (there are more at the bottom of the 7/11 post if you're interested)...

Adam and I are up above the tree line in the tundra at Rocky Mountain National Park.
White water rafting was so much fun! We were in the Poudre River in northern Colorado, which was unusually high due to record rainfall in June. Adam is in the front of the boat in a yellow helmet, and I am sitting behind him in a yellow helmet. (We are the only ones not wearing thermal shirts under our life jackets, instead opting for bathing suits despite the COLD water. Perhaps our time in Michigan has acclimated us to cold temperatures??!) Additional boat team members were cousins/family from the retreat, plus the guide in the back of the boat. Although we got quite wet, we didn't flip!

I can't believe that it's already July...I have no idea where the summer has gone! Well, actually I do. It was spent traveling. After Puerto Rico, there was Chicago, Kentucky, and most recently Colorado. Here are the long-overdue pics...such fun times but it is so refreshing to be home.

Chicago

My mom and Aunt Roxanne were supposed to fly to Detroit, spend a few days with me, and then we were all planning to drive to Chicago to meet my PaPa and Uncle David who were in Chicago for a phonograph convention. After some major flight delays, I ended up driving to Chicago to meet up with everyone. On Saturday we went to the Museum of Science and Industry.

PaPa and I are in front of a propulsion system display, which was similar to the ones he spent his engineering career working on.

Then we all went to see some phonographs. They are all so interesting, beautiful, and functional. My Uncle David and PaPa have been collecting and restoring them for years.

On Sunday my mom, Aunt Rox, Uncle David, and I went shopping on the Magnificent Mile and had lunch at an outdoor cafe on the river. I don't think I've ever spent this much continuous time with my Aunt and Uncle before and it was so much fun. I absolutely adore them. They're some of the funniest and most generous people I know.


Mom and I on our shopping trip.

Kentucky

Unfortunately, our trip to Kentucky was not for vacation. We got a call that Grammy Y was not doing well. She had been in the hospital and took a turn for the worse. On our way down to see her she passed away and we ended up staying for her funeral.

Faye was Adam's dad's mom. She was so beautiful and amazing. She went to Purdue for engineering (like my PaPa) at a time when women didn't go to college, much less for engineering. Grandpa Joe (her husband) passed away just before Adam and I were married in 2005.

Colorado

For the 4th of July weekend, we went to Estes Park in Colorado for a "Cousin's Reunion" with Adam's cousins. There were about 25 people there and we had a really good time. It was a quick trip but we had fun just hanging out, white water rafting, rock climbing, and hiking.

Cousins Lauren, Margaret, and Adam.

We had three condos for everyone and enjoyed the shared backyard for eating meals.


Adam adores Taylor, daughter of cousin Meredith and Chris. Isn't she just precious? We shared a condo with them.


Rock climbing was so much fun. Cousin Lauren and her husband Roy live in Colorado and are excellent climbers. They taught everyone how to climb.


I have been indoor rock climbing before but never real outdoor climbing. Lovely view (sarcasm), but don't I look like I really know what I'm doing in this picture? (Trust me it's an artifact!)

I made it to the top!

Adam repelling after reaching the top.


Love this pic of Adam.

We went to the Rocky Mountain National Park and drove up to the tundra before we got out and walked around (on the trails of course). Such pretty views! I also loved seeing marmot. Notice the one below is mid-leap. This species is quite large- I bet about 20 lbs.

My hubby.

The temperature remained pretty cool throughout our stay in Colorado. Especially above 12,000 feet elevation, jackets were required. I think I'm going to frame this one of us. The mountains are so incredible.

I'll wrap up with a rainbow....such a beautiful Promise.

Thanks for traveling with us!

Happy anniversary to me and Adam! Was this really 4 years ago?? It feels like both forever ago and yesterday all at the same time.

Oh, the comfort- the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person- having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik, 1859