I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say

I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place

How did my heart become so lifeless and cold

Where did the passion go?

~

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind

I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give

I've lost the feeling and I'm down to the core

I can't fake it anymore.

~

Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection

Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead

What I've lost the the world what seems far beyond redemption

You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again.

~

You speak and all creation falls to its knees

You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea

You have a way of turning winter to spring

Make something beautiful out of all this suffering.

~

~Nicol Sponberg, Resurrection

What began in Haiti may continue in Malawi, Africa.

~

Malawi is a unique country. Most of the people speak English. Most are the poorest of the poor. And many have AIDS. Malawi has one of the highest prevalences of AIDS in the world.

~

YLOH was presented with an opportunity to do a clinical rotation at a pediatric AIDS clinic in Malawi this summer. One of the physicians on campus travels there several times a year to serve at one particular hospital and he takes medical students with him. I have been eager to join this opportunity, and have begun researching the country. Malawi is home to a CDC office and Global AIDS Project (GAP), which is pretty much my dream job. I don't feel that this is a coincidence, or that this opportunity was presented by chance. Nothing is certain yet, but I am just so incredibly excited about this possibility.

~

So, to my prayer warriors...

1. Please pray for favor with the CDC and the Malawian government. I want to volunteer at the GAP CDC office for 6 weeks.

2. Please pray for finances. It will be pretty expensive to fly 2 people half way around the world.

3. Please pray for my dog. It seems silly, but leaving him for 6 weeks will be extremely difficult. He will also need a place to stay, which will be a burden on anyone.

4. Please pray for favor with my boss. Six weeks is a long time to be on a leave of absence.

~

Below, some pictures from Haiti...the many faces of beautiful.

"I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,

I will also hold you by the hand and watch over you,

And I will appoint you as a covenant to the people,

As a light to the nations,

To open blind eyes,

To bring out prisoners from the dungeon

And those who dwell in darkness from the prison.

I am the Lord, that is My name;

I will not give My glory to another,

Nor My praise to graven images.

'Behold, the former things have come to pass,

Now I declare new things;

Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you.'"

Isaiah 42:6-9

I turned 24 on Sunday. Twenty-four. My friend was right, something happens when you turn 24. Maybe it's a bit melancholy, maybe it's a maturing...but 24 is and will be a turning point. I'm no longer young- in fact, now that I'm married AND twenty-four I think I've almost graduated from the "kid table" at family gatherings. My birthday was quiet. I ran some errands, did some homework, organized a closet. In the evening, YLOH took me to 3 Forks, my favorite restaurant. They serve a salad that I crave weekly and a steak that melts in your mouth. Just fabulous food...but even our dining choice speaks of something...no big affair that you expect when you're twelve, not big charade of gifts. It was quiet, relaxing, reflective...and FABULOUS. There is no better way to spend a birthday than with my best friend and soul mate, talking over dinner. Come to think of it, I think 24 suits me well. It's going to be a wonderful year.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001. One day after my 19th birthday. I was a sophomore at Baylor University, upstairs in the bathroom of my apartment getting ready for a 9:30am chemistry class. I was blow-drying my hair, and one of my roommates was downstairs watching TV. She called to me over the sound of the hair dryer that I should come down and see the TV. We stood in shock that planes had hit the World Trade Center towers, and then watched in horror at the live broadcast of the towers falling. I was crying, a hand over my open mouth. Then we stood hugging eachother in our living room, and we prayed together for the people in the towers. I went to chemistry class late. I spent most of the time watching the news with my classmates in the hallway, where the professors had plugged in a TV. That evening, my roommate Lauren had planned a surprise dinner for my birthday. We ate with a few friends and then spent the evening watching the news. It was a quiet day for me to say the least.
~
I visited the Ground Zero site in the summer of 2004. You Little O Husband and I walked down the block, and as the site came into my view I immediately began to weep. There were still windows broken in the surrounding buildings. Firefighters from the station across the street were sitting outside, just staring at the active construction site. The site of the firefighters was overwhelming, knowing their sacrifice in 2001. And the site itself is huge. The pictures on TV did not allow me to comprehend the massive amount of space these building stood on. It is a solemn place, both physically and in my mind.
~
My mom remembers where she was, what she was doing she found out that President Kennedy had been shot. She told me the story of being in a Dallas elementary school classroom, and the principal coming over the intercom to give the news. I have been to the site of the the shooting in Dallas. I have also been to Dachau, one of the German concentration camps. I would say that the JFK shooting and the concentration camps were defining times of a generation. But they are not my generation. For although both of these sites were saddening to me, I wonder if I was only sad because I knew I should be sad. It is appropriate to be sad. But honestly, these events are not personal to me. I was not even born when they happened.
~
But 9/11 is personal to me. It is a defining time of my generation. It is the day that I will always remember where I was, what I was doing when it happened. I will tell my children the story, just as my mom told me a similar one. And so, the day after my 24th birthday, September 11, 2006...I reflect on the day I will always remember.
~

Therefore thus says the Lord God,

Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone,

A costly cornerstone for the foundations, firmly placed.

He who believes in it will not be disturbed.

Isaiah 28:16

~

Perhaps in spite of and because of September 11th, our great nation looked to the Lord. It suddenly became acceptable for our president to pray, to cry, to be broken. For all of us to pray, to cry, to be broken. Maybe God was creating a cornerstone, a costly cornerstone, for a rebuilding of our great nation. May our new foundation be found in Him and Him alone.